Mrs. Plansky's Revenge by Spencer Quinn

Published by Forge Books on July 25, 2023

When Peter Abrahams writes as Spencer Quinn, he’s usually writing in the voice of Chet, the large dog who stars in his Chet and Bernie detective novels. Readers who are familiar with that voice will recognize it in Quinn’s new novel about Loretta Plansky, a woman of 71 who doesn’t let age get in the way of accomplishing her goals. Unlike Chet, Loretta is not distracted by squirrels, but she often expresses her thoughts in the kind of language that Chet might use.

Loretta lives in Florida. She has enough money to overcome the downside of living in Florida, having retired after selling a successful company she operated with her husband. She is now a widow. While missing the man to whom she was entirely devoted, Loretta maintains a positive outlook by playing tennis at her club and staying in touch with her children.

Dinu Tiriac lives in Romania. At the direction of his Uncle Dragomir, Dinu is learning English so that he can scam Americans. Dinu calls American seniors, pretending to be a grandson. He spoofs the grandson’s phone number so the call seems legitimate on caller ID. He claims he was arrested for DUI and needs $9,000 to make bail and get his car back. He promises to repay the money when his bail is refunded at his court appearance, but the reality is that he gets the victim’s bank information and empties their account using a cash transfer app that can’t be traced. This is, by the way, an actual scam that (according to the FTC) all too often succeeds in defrauding seniors.

It works on Loretta, who is a soft touch when it comes to her children and grandkids. She gives her bank account number and password to Dinu (posing as her grandson Will). Since she uses the same password for everything, she soon finds that her bank account and investment account have both been drained of funds. Altogether, she loses more than $8 million.

Loretta might be in the early stages of dementia; she’s easily confused, her memory comes and goes. Perhaps these are just the usual outcomes of aging, given that Loretta is often quite sharp. She is sufficiently lucid to explain what happened to her banker and investment manager, and then to the FBI, none of whom offer much hope that she will get her money back. Mild dementia or not, once Loretta learns that her money was transferred to Romania, Loretta decides to travel there and get it back. Perhaps that decision is itself a symptom of irrationality, but Loretta is plucky.

Loretta’s fortitude makes her a wonderful character. She is old fashioned in the sense that she places a high value on good manners and kind behavior. She doesn’t want to bother her kids with her problems. Realizing she has lost everything, she quickly resolves to sell her jewelry and condo. To save money, she takes her father out of the expensive care facility he hates and has him live with her. She thinks she might take a job driving for Uber, since the CEO of the company she founded with her husband won’t employ anyone older than 65.

Dinu is less admirable but still likeable. At 16, he’s controlled by his bullying uncle and by his hormones. He hopes to impress a girl with his success but she is decidedly unimpressed that he is making money by scamming elderly victims. Unlike his uncle, Dinu has a conscience.

Events that drive the novel’s second half might be a bit too coincidental, but that contributes to the fun. Implausible plots don’t detract from novels that aren’t meant to be taken seriously. When the US Embassy’s cybercrime specialist offers little hope, Loretta conducts her own investigation with the help of a journalist. She isn’t quite an action hero, but she is remarkably spry and fearless as she wanders through hidden hallways, makes a dangerous descent from a window, and shows off the ability to operate a motorcycle — a skill that she learned when she was 19. It’s tough not to root for a kindly aging lady, especially when she is revitalized by romance.

I always enjoy the Chet and Bernie series. If Quinn writes more novels about Loretta, I suspect I will enjoy them almost as much.

RECOMMENDED

Bark to the Future by Spencer Quinn

Published by Forge Books on August 9, 2022

I knocked Spencer Quinn a bit for his last Chet and Bernie novel because I thought he was recycling thoughts that, while amusing, Chet had shared in other novels. For those who aren’t familiar with the series, Chet is a dog. Chet narrates his adventures with his owner/partner, Bernie Little. The thoughts Quinn attributes to Chet are spot on, at least from the standpoint of humans who try to imagine what dogs think. I am happy to report that Quinn did not fish in the same pond of jokes when he wrote Bark to the Future — or if he did, he caught some new ones and threw most of the old ones back.

Bernie Little was a star pitcher in high school. Now he’s a private detective. He’s driving with Chet in his latest Porsche when he spots Rocket Saluka at a freeway exit. Rocket is a former teammate, now homeless and mentally unsound. Bernie’s attempt to help Rocket leads to a mystery that has its roots in high school. The mystery involves a switchblade that, for a time, was in Rocket’s possession. Before that, it was kept locked up by a chemistry teacher, only to be stolen.

When Rocket goes missing, Bernie follows a trail that takes him to a divorced woman he took the prom when they were in high school, the ex-husband of the woman’s deceased sister, a pastor, the chemistry teacher, the teacher’s advanced chem students, the school janitor, a prisoner, and a diving instructor. The investigation eventually gives birth to a murder mystery.

Chet keeps the action moving by chasing suspects, swimming to recover evidence, and sniffing under the table for any crumbs that might have been dropped. The plot is light-hearted and entertaining. Bernie has his moments but Chet is always the star in these novels. Apart from thinking dog thoughts and making fleeting efforts to understand the strange behavior of humans when they aren’t petting him, Chet contributes to the story by noticing things (typically scents or glimpses of people) that the reader will recognize as clues even if Chet does not. Bernie is typically clueless until he finally pieces things together. Chet doesn’t always understand the details of the plot he narrates, but he is confident that all will be well because Bernie is the smartest, strongest, kindest, and all-around best human on the planet, an opinion that is reinforced by treats and cheeseburgers.

Bernie’s rocky love life has evolved over the series, although he seems settled in with Weatherly. Chet’s love life may have produced a dog that Weatherly adopted, a dog that looks suspiciously like Chet, a dog Chet considers the most annoying dog on the planet because how could there possibly be another Chet? Spencer Quinn is back in form with Bark to the Future, making this an easy novel to recommend to dog lovers. This would be a good starting point for fans who are new to the series.

RECOMMENDED

Tender Is the Bite by Spencer Quinn

Published by Forge Books on July 6, 2021

Chet the Jet is back in the eleventh installment of Spencer Quinn’s Chet and Bernie series. Bernie Little is the only human employee of the Little Detective Agency. Bernie is much loved by Chet, his large and loyal canine partner. Chet helps solve crimes, often inadvertently, while puzzling about the mysteries of human behavior.

To Chet’s dismay, Bernie decides to investigate a mystery without a paying client. The story begins with a young woman named Mavis following Bernie, working up the courage to speak with him. When Bernie asks whether she needs his help, she flees, apparently frightened off by a political bumper sticker that she sees on the floor of Bernie’s car. Bernie, who has no interest in politics or politicians, has no idea where the bumper sticker came from until he learns that one of his neighbors dropped it into his car. The top is always down on Bernie’s Porsche, making it all the easier for Chet to jump in and out.

Bernie gets a plate number as Mavis drives away. His police contacts advise him that the car is registered to Johnnie Lee Goetz. He also learns that Johnnie Lee has a restraining order against Mickey Rottoni. Sensing a mystery that needs his attention, Bernie goes in search of Johnnie Lee, hoping to find Mavis.

The restraining order was served by Weatherly Wauneka, who has a dog that  looks very much like Chet. Weatherly might become Bernie’s new love interest. Series fans will know that Bernie’s former girlfriend, Suzie Sanchez, married someone else, although she pops up for a cameo in Tender Is the Bite.

The plot involves a ferret, a Russian thug named Olek, a potential client who wants to hire Bernie for a job in Kauai, a senator and his horse-loving wife, the eventual disappearance of Mavis and Johnnie Lee, a dead body or two, and a blackmail scheme. All of that (minus the ferret) might be standard fare for a crime novel, but the story differs from traditional crime novels because it is narrated by Chet, who has no use for ferrets or perps.

After eleven novels, many of Chet’s opinions will be familiar to readers, including his animosity toward horses, bears, and birds. We know that Chet wants to go through every door first, that he wants to sit in the Porsche’s shotgun seat (forcing human passengers to sit on the back bench), and that he’s certain Bernie is the smartest human in the room. At times during Tender Is the Bite, I thought Quinn should make a greater effort to develop new material, as many of Chet’s observations seem to be recycled from earlier books. Still, the Chet and Bernie novels are always a joy, at least for dog lovers, if only because Quinn has nailed the way we imagine dogs would think if they had the vocabulary to express their thoughts.

The plot is as credible as it needs to be in a novel that is narrated by a dog. Action scenes give Bernie and Chet the chance to save each other from harm. Chet even tries to climb a rope ladder, a difficult task since he hasn’t yet mastered regular ladders. I’ve probably read about half of the Chet and Bernie novels and have never found one I wouldn’t recommend to dog lovers, although some are better than others. I would rank Tender Is the Night in the middle of the pack.

RECOMMENDED

The Right Side by Spencer Quinn

Published by Atria Books on June 27, 2017

Spencer Quinn is justly celebrated for his Chet and Bernie stories, which are light and amusing. The Right Side is dark and serious. About halfway through the book, however, a wonderful dog appears, although the dog isn’t Chet, who narrates the Chet and Bernie books. This dog, like the novel, is dark and serious. But she’s still a dog.

Readers who want a favorite author to write the same book over and over might dislike The Right Side. Readers who admire the ability and courage of a good writer who departs from a successful formula might like The Right Side even more than the Chet and Bernie novels.

Raised by a former Green Beret, LeAnne Hogan knows how to shoot. But she lost her shooting eye on a mission in Afghanistan and she has shrapnel embedded in her brain. Her memory is fuzzy as she recovers in Walter Reed, although she remembers the childhood that shaped her. As she recuperates, she has repeat visits from a psychiatrist and an Army intelligence officer, neither of whom she trusts.

LeAnne was in Afghanistan at the request of a female colonel who wanted her to join a team that would gather intelligence from Afghan women (on the dubious theory that women are more likely to talk to women). During the first third of the novel, LeAnne’s backstory alternates with her present, as she tries to cope with her injuries and memory loss, and with unexpected death, at Walter Reed and in her post-hospitalized life.

LeAnne’s experiences have changed her. Her injury has made it difficult for her to focus and to keep track of time. She’s become something of a bigot with regard to Americans of Middle Eastern ancestry. She’s gruff and short-tempered. She’s developed a sense of entitlement because of her military service and a sense of worthlessness because of her injury. In other words, she’s imperfect. That makes her interesting and realistic.

What happened on the mission that took her eye? LeAnne isn’t sure. The Captain from Army intelligence drops some hints, suggesting that there’s more to the story than LeAnne remembers. He keeps track of LeAnne as the story moves along, leaving the reader to wonder why he’s taking such an interest in her. And since LeAnne’s brain injury makes her a less than reliable narrator, part of the reader’s challenge is deciding whether LeAnne’s perceptions of reality are entirely accurate.

After this set-up, a dog appears. I’ll leave it to the reader to discover how that happens and the almost mythical role that the dog plays in LeAnne’s life, despite her general antipathy to dogs. Suffice it to say, it would be hard for a dog lover not to love this book.

A brief friendship at Walter Reed with a woman named Marci animates the rest of the novel, as LeAnne becomes embroiled in Marci’s past while trying to make sense of her own past and present. Other characters help or hinder Marci, but she would be largely directionless if it weren’t for the dog, who leads her in the directions that only make sense to dogs, but as dog lovers know, those directions often turn out to be the right ones.

Quinn honed his storytelling skills in the Chet and Bernie books, all of which I’ve enjoyed. He knows how to keep the story moving at a good pace without sacrificing characterizations or setting. As LeAnne moves around the country (and Afghanistan), Quinn always establishes a convincing sense of place. His supporting characters are convincing and, given the serious nature of the novel, LeAnne has more depth than Bernie (or Chet, for that matter).

A couple scenes in the book would be difficult to believe if not for the dog’s mythical quality. This is the sort of story that a reader believes because the reader wants to believe it, not because it’s particularly plausible. That Quinn made me believe the unlikely is one reason I loved The Right Side. LeAnne’s character development and the dog story are the other reasons. The twin mysteries (what happened in Afghanistan? what happened to a kid who goes missing midway through the story?) are entertaining enough, but this is a novel I admire for reasons other than the plot.

RECOMMENDED

Santa 365 by Spencer Quinn

Published by Atria Books on November 24, 2015

Santa 365 is a small Christmas offering from Spencer Quinn, the pseudonymous author of the Chet and Bernie novels. This short story takes place at some point before The Dog Who Knew Too Much but, as Quinn points out, the order in which the Chet and Bernie books are read doesn’t matter much. Bernie’s life changes a bit as the series progresses but Chet is always Chet.

As background to the story, Chet tells us that he once grabbed a fellow named Plumpy Bonaparte by the pants leg, allowing Bernie to send him to jail for running a Ponzi scheme. Now Plumpy is out and claims to have reformed, having started a business called Santa 365.

The story involves Bernie’s interaction with Santa 365. Bernie behaves in a way that is very unlike Bernie, both in his interaction with Plumpy and later by allowing (almost inviting) himself to be victimized by another criminal. Maybe Christmas has made Bernie naively trusting (if not downright foolish), but I thought Bernie’s out-of-character behavior made the story hard to swallow.

Of course, Chet is always fun, but this is a very short story, which limits the amount of amusing commentary that Chet is able to provide. There’s nothing new or fresh from Chet which, combined with a less-than-memorable plot, makes this story a disappointing entry in the Chet and Bernie series.

NOT RECOMMENDED