Starter Villain by John Scalzi

Published by Tor Books on September 19, 2023

Starter Villain is more a crime/conspiracy novel than a science fiction novel, but John Scalzi writes science fiction so it needed an sf hook. Which is, talking cats.

Scalzi has written dramatic science fiction that is notable for its pathos. Some of his work is lighter. Starter Villain is meant to amuse. It made me smile consistently. I even laughed out loud a couple of times, but it’s not the kind of work that puts a reader through a gamut of emotions.

Scalzi focuses the novel on a decent man who happens to like cats, probably a man who is a lot like Scalzi. Charlie Fitzer is unlike Scalzi in that Fitzer lost his career as a writer — a journalist who covered the business world — when the economy tanked. Fitzer is working as a substitute teacher and falling behind on his bills. His father bequeathed his childhood home to a trust for Charlie and his half-siblings but gave Charlie the right to live in the home provided he paid the insurance and utilities. His half-siblings believe their father’s intent was that Charlie should get back on his feet before the house is sold out from under him. They are irked that Charlie is making insufficient progress toward that goal.

Charlie has a wealthy uncle he hasn’t seen since the uncle had a falling out with his father at his mother’s funeral when he was five years old. Charlie learns from watching a financial network broadcast that his uncle has died. His uncle’s assistant, a woman named Mathilda Morrison, shows up unexpectedly to tell him that he’s in charge of his uncle’s funeral. Charlie responds dutifully. The only other people who show up at the funeral are the designees of wealthy criminals (think oligarchs) who want to stab the uncle’s corpse to make sure he isn’t faking his own death (again).

After someone blows up Charlie’s house, Mathilda explains that his uncle was a successful criminal. She provides temporary housing for Charlie and reveals that his cats have been genetically modified, enabling them to communicate by keyboard. Charlie’s uncle used modified cats to spy on his enemies, Charlie, and pretty much every important person who owns a cat.

Charlie is soon introduced to a criminal organization to which his uncle belonged, or joined and left, or never joined, depending on who is telling the story. Ian Fleming loosely based SMERSH on rumors of the organization and loosely based Blofeld and his cat on one of its members. The plot concerns the organization’s belief that Charlie, as successor to his uncle’s criminal enterprise, owes the organization billions of dollars because his uncle either stole property belonging to the organization or competed unfairly with its members or breached an agreement to tithe his profits to the organization. Charlie takes a casual approach to their demands but proves to be a smarter businessman than any of the criminals, all of whom have a sense of entitlement but no business sense at all.

While I prefer Scalzi when he’s telling stories with more drama than talking cats can provide, I can’t fault the entertainment value of his lighter fare. His novels are often a roadmap for how to behave decently even when surrounded by people who behave selfishly. Charlie is easy to like and Scalzi rewards the reader’s interest in the character. The plot is surprisingly coherent for a book that features talking cats and unionized dolphins. Starter Villain moves quickly, seasons a pleasant story with amusing moments, and reaches a satisfying resolution.

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