The Lords of Salem by Rob Zombie
Saturday, April 6, 2013 at 12:32PM 
Published by Grand Central Publishing on March 12, 2013
Rob Zombie recorded a song called "The Lords of Salem" in 2006. His movie of the same name is scheduled for release in April 2013. This book is a novelization of the movie, which I haven't seen. Is it a great novel? No, but I wasn't expecting much, and I was pleased that the novel exceeded my limited expectations. The Lords of Salem isn't The Crucible, but it's a surprisingly well written tale of witchcraft in modern Salem (for which I assume co-author B.K. Evenson deserves a fair amount of credit). There is nothing of Arthur Miller's subtlety in this version of Salem's witching -- it is a story for fans of gruesome, and in that regard it suffers from a lack of originality. If you're looking for a book that will scare you out of your socks, this isn't it. Still, I've read many horror novels that are less interesting than this one.
The novel begins in 1692, as Salem's judicial authorities put to death a number of witches, including Margaret Morgan. As she comes to a bloody end, Morgan vows to return and avenge her death, and those responsible for it -- particularly Mather and Hawthorne.
The story quickly turns to contemporary Salem, where Morgan tries to make good on her promise. One of her targets is Maisie Mather, whose unfortunate boyfriend is enjoying the afterglow of intimacy when Maisie is possessed. Another is the novel's central figure: Heidi Hawthorne, a recovering drug addict who works as a Salem DJ. A heavy metal song (or maybe it's not a song) by The Lords is delivered to Heidi anonymously, and when she plays it on the air, women love it. The song empowers women to do some ghastly things. An historian is the only character bright enough to figure out the connection between the song and a couple of very bloody killings.
When people aren't being ripped to shreds or having their eyes gouged out, the story maintains interest with humor, likable characters, and a coherent if unsurprising plot. The characters and the humor kept me reading. The elements of horror have been done in the same way many times before, although I give the writing team credit for describing them in vivid language. The best horror novels convince the reader that the shocking events in the novel are actually happening. That isn't true here; events are too predictable and sometimes a little too silly. This isn't the sort of book you'll stay awake reading because you're too frightened to turn the lights off. I liked it because it's entertaining, not because it's great horror.
As you might expect from Rob Zombie, the story revolves around music; as you might not expect, the DJs at the radio station are fond of bands like Earth Wind & Fire. Maybe that's Rob Zombie being ironic, or maybe he's a fan of old pop music. In any event, the use of music as a plot thread adds an extra dimension to the story.
RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS