R.I.P.: Pacino (1998-2013)
"I do what I want"
Although Pacino managed to live his entire life without doing an honest day’s work, he distinguished himself as a skilled beggar, an accomplished thief, and a masterful con artist. Never a scholarly dog, and having been expelled from obedience school, Pacino nonetheless displayed uncanny intelligence when circumventing childproof locks and opening cupboard doors to reach food and garbage.
While Pacino enjoyed all holidays, his favorite was Halloween, when he greeted costumed children by burrowing into their bags and helping himself to their treats. As often as he could, Pacino attended children’s birthday parties, although never with an invitation. Running at top speed, he snatched hamburgers from the hands of unsuspecting kids, and more than once gave literal truth to the phrase “stealing candy from a baby.” At adult parties, steaks on the grill were a prime target of thievery, as were buns, bags of chips, boxes of pizza, and any other food items left unattended on a table or counter. Pacino prided himself on being a well-fed dog, although dog food was his meal of last resort.
Pacino excelled at swimming and frequently outraced other dogs to the balls and toys their owners tossed into the lake, only to abandon them when he spotted another prize sailing through the air. Despite being chastised for the unrecovered balls and toys that were left floating in the water, Pacino showed little regard for anyone who tried to spoil his fun. In addition to swimming, Pacino’s hobbies included walking, napping, chasing his kong, chewing rawhide bones, and receiving belly rubs.
The final eighteen months of Pacino’s life were spent on a tropical island, where he quickly attained the status of a rock star. In a neighborhood dominated by shiatsus and mongrels, Pacino was admired for both his size and his amiable, fun-loving attitude. Like Norm on Cheers, everybody knew Pacino’s name. Whether lounging in the sun or seeking affection (and snacks) from neighbors, Pacino always pursued the goal that became his mantra: maximum fun.
On a personal note, during a time when depression and existential despair were swallowing my life, Pacino’s unwavering love and steadfast devotion kept me grounded. His good natured goofiness, eternal optimism, and enthusiasm for life taught me more lessons than years of psychotherapy could have accomplished. I am grateful that he was always there when I needed him. Pacino more than earned every feast he ever stole.