The Tenth Circle by Jon Land

Published by Open Road Media on December 17, 2013

Beginning with a missing colony on Roanoke Island in 1590 (which left behind the word Croatoan) and continuing to the missing crew of the Mary Celeste in 1872 -- as well as Napoléon, who was counting on the cargo that the Mary Celeste was carrying, disguised as barrels of alcohol, to help him reclaim his empire -- it's clear that a new world-threatening danger is being unleashed, and that only Blaine McCracken can save the day.

Turning from the prologue the present: Israel's defense minister wants to destroy an Iranian nuclear complex but the Israeli military isn't up to the task of penetrating the heavily guarded underground facility. To whom does the defense minister turn? Blaine McCracken, of course. Following the formula of his earlier novels, Jon Land starts The Tenth Circle by having McCracken do something outlandish and, having lulled the reader into abandoning any sense of disbelief, moves on from there to the truly strange.

The new threat to America is, in some sense, the typical thriller threat -- Islamic terrorists are blowing up bridges and buildings all over the country -- but Land makes it interesting by giving the terrorists a new motive: a crazy Christian preacher with a murderous past who is stirring up religious bigotry and hatred against Muslims. Yet the true villains are not so easy to identify and the weapon they wield -- well, it isn't a dirty bomb or a deadly virus or other conventional thriller fare. Conventional isn't a word that comes to mind while reading a McCracken novel.

Land writes pure escapist fiction. This isn't the kind of story you want to think about too deeply. Very little in The Tenth Circle is believable. McCracken and his sidekick Johnny Wareagle are so close to being comic book superheroes that they should be wearing capes and masks. Does it make sense that Captain Seven, McCracken's mad scientist friend (who is more of a stoned scientist friend), just happens to have the Roanoke Island governor's journal from 1590 sitting on his desk when McCracken comes calling? No, but Land is one of the few writers who can craft a completely implausible plot that I completely enjoy.

The Tenth Circle moves like lightning on crack. Action scenes are vivid and original. Land never relies on clichéd phrases to tell his story. Dialog is amusing, particularly when McCracken is talking to Captain Seven. Although Land always plays it straight, he brings a tongue-in-cheek attitude to certain scenes (a group of senior citizens taking on armed commandos with bocce balls was one of my favorites). The Tenth Circle isn't serious literature or even a serious thriller, but it's seriously fun to read.

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Pandora's Temple by Jon Land

Published by Open Road Media on November 20, 2012 

Nine Blaine McCracken novels were published between 1986 and 1998. I haven't read any of them, but I gather that McCracken was once a CIA operative who, at some point, turned freelance. In the tenth book, Pandora's Temple, McCracken is pushing sixty and hasn't worked in a couple of years, but quickly proves he is still worthy of his "McCrackenballs" nickname. Yeah, that's really his nickname. Homeland Security hires McCrackenballs to rescue some kidnapped college students who are imprisoned in a drug lord's fortress. Homeland Security can't send in Special Forces commandos because that might disturb delicate trade negotiations. Apparently, Homeland Security doesn't think Mexico will notice the Hellfire missiles that an American drone fires into the fortress to give McCracken an assist. The missiles are probably unnecessary because McCracken is backed up by his buddy Johnny Wareagle, who carries an M-16 in each hand, firing both unerringly at scores of aim-challenged Mexicans.

The mayhem in Mexico is just a prelude to the real adventure. A drilling rig named Deepwater Venture, operated by a company called Ocean Bore, is in the Gulf of Mexico, drilling in an unlikely spot to yield oil. When the drill reaches a record depth, what it releases isn't a fossil fuel. The crew disappears in a flash of light, an event that (for no obvious reason) prompts Homeland Security to declare a Level Six emergency (end of the world imminent). McCracken and Wareagle, being retired and having no official connection to the government, are naturally sent to the Deepwater Venture to find out what's going on. I mean, why would Homeland Security send Navy SEALs to investigate a Level Six emergency on a drilling rig when it can send two old guys instead? Of course, when killer robots and ninja warriors attack the offices of Homeland Security (don't ask), McCracken and Wareagle are the only two people in the building who aren't cowering or dying, so they are clearly the right men for the job.

The mystery beneath the sea could be a new source of unlimited energy. It could be a weapon. Or it could be a force too powerful to imagine. I'll leave it to a physicist to decide whether Jon Land's explanation of the mystery is based on plausible science or gibberish, although my money is on the latter.

From shaky science to Greek legends, I was unable to suspend my disbelief of the story told in Pandora's Temple. Not for a second. The plot is outlandish and the characters aren't within spitting distance of credibility. I suppose that makes my enjoyment of Pandora's Temple a guilty pleasure. I'm almost ashamed of myself for liking it. The story is filled with stereotyped heroes (including Wareagle, the Indian warrior with connections to the spirit world, and Captain Seven, the dope smoking Grateful Dead fan with a genius for technology) and cartoon villains (including a reclusive billionaire who wants to control the world's energy supply, the leader of a Japanese doomsday cult, and an environmental terrorist bent on revenge). The plot is so absurd that it borders on comedy.

So why did I enjoy Pandora's Temple? For all the silliness -- maybe because of all the silliness -- the fun factor is supercharged. Actions scenes are vibrant. Many of them are unexpectedly creative and would probably look great on film. In one scene, Land found an excuse to put a sword in McCracken's hand, giving him a chance to play gladiator. Land's prose is unchallenging but never dependent upon cliché. The story surges forward with the fury of a hurricane and, like a hurricane, it moves in unexpected directions. As outrageous as the plot might be, it consistently held my attention. All I ask from escapist fiction is to be entertained, and in that regard, Pandora's Temple delivers. Guilty pleasure or not, I enjoyed every word of it.

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