Calling Ukraine by Johannes Lichtman

Published by Simon & Schuster on April 11, 2023

I knew little about Ukraine until former president Trump tried to blackmail the country into making damaging statements about Biden in exchange for receiving military aid that Congress had already mandated. Even after Trump explained his “perfect” telephone call to Zelensky, I didn’t trouble myself to learn much about Ukraine. Zelensky changed that by forcing the world to understand and condemn Putin’s unlawful aggression. The setting of Calling Ukraine gives readers a chance to learn a bit more about Ukrainian culture, although the novel is far from a travel guide.

The “Calling” in the title refers not to Trump’s imperfect call but to a small call center in Lutsk. Davey, a college friend of John Turner, started a business that is similar to Airbnb, except it focuses on apartment buildings that already have hotel licenses. Davey hired a bunch of Ukrainian programmers to build the business because they’re smart and less expensive than American programmers. To save money, he decided to offer customer service from the same building that houses the programmers and hired a small team of English-speaking Ukrainians to deal with his angry customers. He discovered that the customer service agents don’t know how to set American customers at ease with the kind of small talk they expect. Davey wants to hire Turner to teach the agents the skills they need to communicate with Americans.

Turner has spent the eight years since college trying, with little success, to establish himself as a freelance journalist. Davey is offering a modest salary, but Turner can live like a king on almost nothing in Lvov. Feeling the need for a change in his life after losing his father, Turner takes the job. He initially notices that most Americans and Europeans in Ukraine are sex tourists who are attracted to the nation’s beautiful women. Then he realizes that the most useful Ukrainian language program is geared toward sex tourists, emphasizing phrases like “Would you like to have a drink with me?” and “I can give you money but not that much.”

Much of the story addresses Turner’s observation of Ukrainian people, who are more direct and less optimistic than Americans. He finds them to be friendly but not outgoing. They need help making small talk with customers because they don’t understand the point. Nor do they understand why “I can’t help you with that” or “You should have read the user agreement” are less appropriate responses than “I completely understand why you feel that way but I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to change the agreement you made with the company.” Turner doesn’t understand why Americans need small talk and obsequious responses, but he devises a strategy for coaching the agents in the fine art of bullshit.

Turner is attracted to an agent named Natalia. He doesn’t want to act on his desire because she’s married and a subordinate. In any event, Turner is avoiding relationships because he doesn’t want to come across as a sex tourist.

Natalia and her husband Anatoly happen to live in an apartment across from Turner’s. They have loud arguments. Sometimes the arguments end with Anatoly hitting Natalia. Turner doesn’t know how to deal with the violence. He wants to intervene but Natalia doesn’t want his help. Turner is told that the police won’t interfere. He finally hits upon a scheme that does not end well. Saying more would give away a plot that depends on the element of surprise.

Most of the story is told from Turner’s point of view. Since Turner engages with few Ukrainians and doesn't travel much, his observations of Ukraine are minimal and not particularly insightful. Johannes Lichtman doesn’t paint a detailed image of Ukraine, although he offers a quick take on the nation's history. Turner is invigorated by Zelensky’s election, given that Turner “tried to disengage from politics back home, as much as such a thing was possible, to get away from the doomy hopelessness of Trump’s America.” By discussing politics, Russia, life in Ukraine when it was part of the Soviet Union, and life in Ukraine under Zelensky’s predecessor, Turner comes to appreciate some of the differences between Ukraine and the United States. As Natalia tells him, Americans get second or third chances, as many as they want. Ukrainians are lucky to get one.

The last and best part of the novel is told from Natalia’s point of view. Her grounding in reality contrasts with Turner’s American attitude that people can make the life they want. She isn’t an oligarch so she doesn’t expect to live an indulgent life. She’ll settle for a life that allows her to use her mind and to survive in reasonable comfort. She does not need to be in a perfect relationship but she does not want to be punched or choked by the man in her life. She’s a strong woman who makes unexpected choices that might not reflect well upon her character, but it would be difficult for a reader not to wish her well.

Calling Ukraine finds humor in an office setting and in the cultural ignorance of an American abroad. Both Turner and Natalia learn something about themselves. The story ends before Russia invades Ukraine, although the drums of war are beating.

A plot twist that might seem forced in a thriller is underplayed in Calling Ukraine and is all the more effective because it comes almost as an afterthought that explains a turning point in Natalia’s life. The balance between humor and drama, between Turner’s perspective and Natalia’s, makes it seem as if the reader has been treated to two different books blended into one. Neither story is satisfyingly complete, but this might be one of those times when it is best to leave the reader wanting more.

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