The Devil Doesn't Want Me by Eric Beetner
Wednesday, October 31, 2012 at 8:14PM 
Published by Penguin as a "Dutton Guilt Edged Mystery" on October 23, 2012
Lars is a hit man, and with two exceptions, a successful one. One was a recent bloodbath in Vegas and the other is Mitchell "Mitch the Snitch" Kenney, who for seventeen years has been evading Lars, hiding in a witness protection program somewhere in the southwest. Lars has been practicing yoga and chasing down leads but has never managed to find Mitch. Now Lars is being forced into retirement, replaced by a kid named Trent who expects to find and kill Mitch within a few days. As the plot unfolds, the question isn't whether someone will kill Mitch but whether Lars will kill Trent before Trent can kill Lars.
Large quantities of blood splatter across the pages as the story develops, but this isn't a novel of mindless action. Not that the story lacks pace -- it moves like a racehorse -- but it is characterization, not action, that makes the novel stand out. Lars has lost the motivation that shaped his murderous career. He feels old. That doesn't make him unique in the annals of crime literature, but it makes him more interesting than the typical killer. With the perspective of age and an outmoded, Old School sense of virtue, Lars realizes that he's ready for retirement, yet he feels a duty to protect a sixteen-year-old girl who, through no fault of her own, becomes a target of Trent's men. Can Lars get his stone cold killer mojo back before it's too late?
Dialog is sharp and snappy (I particularly liked "A puppy with a squeak toy is more dangerous than you, kid"). The story is peppered with humor, much of it provided by Lars' befuddlement with the sixteen-year-old who becomes his road trip partner. Also contributing to the humor are Trent, who can't get anything right, a rivalry between Lars' ailing boss and the son who can't wait for dad to die so he can take over the mob, and a group of FBI agents who would prefer to do anything but work. Even minor characters are memorable, sketched with a deft hand.
The road trip ends with a clever twist that leads to a wild ending. Although Eric Beetner had me before the novel even began by writing an Author's Note that talks about his love for his dog, it is his ability as a storyteller that kept me fully engaged.
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