The Patron Saint of Second Chances by Christine Simon

Published by Atria Books on April 12, 2022

Readers might find themselves yearning for a book that distracts them from the muddy reality of modern life, the kind of book in which a happy ending, however unlikely, is guaranteed. The Patron Saint of Second Chances is a charming story of the old world’s stubborn resistance to the new world’s encroachment. Eccentric characters populate Prometto, Italy, a sleepy village of 212 residents. Prometto is fortunate in that one of its residents leaves or dies when a new child is born, saving it the trouble of amending the population statistic on the village sign.

Giovannino Speranza is the mayor of Prometto. His wife inherited a hotel and he inherited his father’s vacuum cleaner repair business. The hotel has no guests because nobody has any reason to visit Prometto. A steady customer who regularly vacuums up Legos keeps Speranza in business.

Speranza is anguished by the apparent inevitability of the village’s demise, as the water authorities have given the village two months to replace its pipes (currently patched with bubble gum) before its water supply is shut off. Villagers are behind on their taxes and the village only has 200 euros, well short of the 70,000 required to make the repairs. The water authority will not authorize a payment plan because it is clear that Prometto will never have money.

Speranza is inspired after learning that a property owner in another village elevated local property values by spreading the rumor that George Clooney was about to buy a villa. The village economy went wild. Speranza attempts his own version of the scam by dropping the name of Dante Rinaldi, an Italian actor he’d never heard of until his adorning daughter talked about him. A rumor takes hold that the actor will be filming a movie in Prometto. Speranza only needs to find an investor to fund the movie and then divert the investment to pipe repairs. The fact that towns do not produce movies never occurs to Prometto’s residents, who have no experience in such things. Nor would they care, given the life that the rumor breathes into their dying village.

The village’s only wealthy resident, a butcher named Maestro, agrees to make a large investment in the movie, but only if one of his many sons will appear in the film. Speranza sees no choice but to simulate the filming of a movie to satisfy the investor.  One setback follows another as Speranza collects and loses money, always ending up short of the 70,000 the village needs to continue its existence. At some point, Speranza must confess to the village priest, who not only forgives Speranza but joins the scheme to save the village.

The Patron Saint of Second Chances is quirky, silly, and very funny. The story follows its own mad logic, making it easy to suspend disbelief in the unlikely plot. Speranza makes an enemy of Maestro, who keeps a wary eye on his investment, making a romance between Maestro’s son and Speranza’s daughter a Romeo and Juliet story. Another love story involves Smilzo, the only character who knows anything about making movies, and the woman he worships, who thinks she is playing the female lead and eagerly awaits the promised appearance of Rinaldi. An ongoing joke involving the world’s largest Pomeranian and the miniature schnauzers who harass him blends with another ongoing joke about real and simulated flatulence. What more could a reader ask from a comedy? The Patron Saint of Second Chances is just about perfect for readers who need an escape from the relentless crush of bad news.

RECOMMENDED