Assholes: A Theory by Aaron James

Published by Doubleday on October 30, 2012 

Aaron James took a break from the philosopher's customary search for the meaning of life to ponder a more burning question: What does it mean to be an asshole? I have the sense that James wrote Assholes so he could share his complaints about surfers who behave like assholes, particularly Brazilians. Whatever his motivation, and despite his earnest attempt to subject assholes to scholarly thought, much of Assholes is enjoyable simply because the topic is so appealing. Everyone, after all, has an opinion about assholes.

Assholes consistently cut in line, interrupt, and engage in name-calling. They do not play well with others (in James' language, they are not fully cooperative members of society). Many (perhaps most) people occasionally behave like an asshole without becoming an asshole. As a theory of the asshole, James posits that an asshole is a person who enjoys "special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people." Although I think "asshole" is pretty much self-defining, in the sense of "I know one when I see one," I like James' definition. I think it's a definition rather than a theory, but I'm probably just quibbling about semantics (which is pretty much the philosopher's job description, making it a battle I can't win). Whether it is a theory or a definition, after he finishes parsing it, James politely suggests that it is up to the reader to decide whether to agree with it. James is plainly no asshole.

James tells us that assholes are morally repugnant but not truly evil. If you're interested in standard philosophical discussions of moral behavior and moral responsibility with references to the likes of Aristotle, Kant, and Buber, you'll find them here. Those of us who needed strong coffee to make it through our philosophy classes are probably hoping for something more fun than a rehash of Martin Buber in a book titled Assholes. We're looking for the author to name names. Happily, James does so (although not without some preliminary hand-wringing about whether calling out assholes is something only an asshole would do). From Simon Cowell to Mel Gibson, from Donald Trump to Steve Jobs, from Ann Coulter to Bill O'Reilly, James finds assholes in every walk of life. James even suggests that book reviewers can be assholes (oh my!) although he does so in the context of academia.

Consistent with his definitional/taxonomic approach, James classifies assholes by type, including the boorish asshole (Rush Limbaugh, Michael Moore), the smug asshole (Richard Dawkins, Larry Summers), the asshole boss (Naomi Campbell), the presidential asshole (Hugo Chavez), the reckless asshole (Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld), the self-aggrandizing asshole (Ralph Nader), the cable news asshole (Neil Cavuto, Keith Olbermann), and the delusional asshole (Kanye West, Wall Street bankers).

James' approach to categorization lends itself to party games. You can make up categories James overlooked, like the sports asshole (George Steinbrenner, Michael Vick), or you can add names to the categories he's invented. Don't worry, there are plenty more assholes identified in the book -- the names I've cherry-picked are illustrative only -- as well as some categories I haven't mentioned, but you'll easily think of more. The book is short and the world is filled with assholes.

Returning to the realm of philosophy, James considers whether assholes are morally responsible for being assholes, which leads to a discussion of whether assholes have free will. James' conclusion is at odds with the answer you would get from a neuroscientist like Bruce Hood, but whether you blame assholes or accept that they can't help being who they are, you're still stuck with them. James reasons that assholes are generally male because they are shaped by the culture of gender, although I think he puts too fine a point on it when he draws subtle distinctions between assholes and bitches. I also think he's a bit naive when he argues that, for cultural reasons, American men are more likely to be assholes than Japanese men, a proposition with which many Southeast Asians (not to mention the surviving residents of Nanking) would disagree.

James includes a chapter on how to manage assholes (short version: you really can't, but you can try to make yourself feel good) and a chapter that suggests how capitalist societies (which encourage the sense of entitlement on which assholes thrive) can deteriorate when the asshole ethic takes root (short version: greed isn't good, Gordon Gecko notwithstanding). The concluding chapter tells us how to find a peaceful life in a world full of assholes (short version: reconcile yourself to the things you cannot change while hoping for a better world). These chapters give James a chance to apply the thoughts of Plato and St. Augustine and the Stoics and Rousseau and even Jesus to the topic of assholes. Heavy thinkers will probably enjoy those discussions. Lightweight thinkers, like me, will enjoy the name naming while looking forward to the party games the book inspires.

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